What Shakes My Faith

This is an entry I just put in my personal journal:

 If there is one thing that shakes my faith in God, it is the suffering and death of children. That children suffer and die too soon is just wrong. Morally wrong. It shouldn't happen, but, of course, it does. And I don’t get it. Children aren’t perfect of course. They are, after all, human. But they’re innocent. No child deserves to have cancer especially if the die of it. No child deserves to have her mother killed by invading Israelis, or by anyone else for that matter.  No child deserves to be killed by a shooter in a school or by the Israeli Defense Forces killing thousands of innocent people in Gaza. It’s just so wrong. It’s just so indefensible. Yet it happens to at least thousands of kids every day. And I just don’t get it. I’ll never get it. I can come up with theological reasons why God doesn’t stop it, but they’re all bullshit. That God doesn’t stop it is inexcusable. Sorry, God, but it just is. Of that I am deeply certain, and I always will be. Maybe I’m like the Jews in the Nazi death camps. They would try God for the crime of not stopping the Holocaust, find God guilty, then go to worship. Their doing so makes no sense, but then faith makes no sense, which, actually, is one of its great virtues. So I live with it. I don’t understand it, but I live with it. What choice do I have? What choice does anyone have?